On the day that would mark the most significant change of my life, the ultimate transformation of myself, I woke up in the jungle paradise where I was staying for a retreat with Sacred Medicine. On this day I would go on an extraordinary journey. Not one far away from this place. At least not in the physical realm. It was a journey that would take me deep inside.
After my first experience with the Bufo medicine two days before the Ayahuasca ceremony, the shaman encouraged me to join. I attended a ceremony many years ago and didn’t have a pleasant experience with the facilitators of it, I decided never to do it again.
But now, with this shaman, his reassurance, and especially because of his words: “You need to finish the work sister, ” I felt deeply that this is the place and the moment to release my fears. This place overwhelmed me with its beauty and powerful energy when I arrived. I knew the first day upon my arrival that I found the door to the life I was desiring, preparing for, and attracting for many years. All I’ve been facing and learning has led me to this moment.
I prepared myself as well as I could for the upcoming ceremony. I ate fruits for breakfast and went to the cenote for a swim, to meditate and connect with Mother Earth and Mother Ayahuasca.
As I was meditating in the cool space of a cave, breathing in the earthly scent of soil and jungle, I asked the Spirit of Ayahuasca to be gentle with me, because I had so much fear.
A loving voice in my head answered my prayer: “Don’t be afraid. The medicine of Bufo opened the channel from above into your heart.” At that moment I felt a light pilar from my heart to the faraway place in the sky. She continued: “ I will open your channel to receive the energy from Mother Earth into your heart and as these two energies merge there, it will give birth to your new life.” I felt another light pillar coming from underneath my feet, traveling into my heart where both started to swirl into a spiral.
It was so intense and beautiful.
I wished to feel a union for a long time. I’ve been working hard on myself, healing and transforming all I could find hidden in the depths of my being. And now the time has come to leave everything behind, to begin a beautiful journey born from liberation.
Although still quite nervous I felt excitement growing in me.
Right before the ceremony started, I shared with the shaman my meditation experience and how happy and encouraged I felt. He was excited for me and said to keep this feeling in me during the journey and stay focused on my breath, which is a powerful tool during the journey.
After everyone was seated, all the musical instruments were ready and we received all the information about what to expect, and especially that we shouldn’t expect anything, because expectation always comes with frustration, as he said, the ceremony started.
The shaman invited two people at a time to the altar and while praying he served the plant medicine. Then, when everyone received the medicine of Mother Ayahuasca, the facilitators blew out the candles and in settled darkness, everyone waited for her to come.
Between each song, there were a few moments of silence and in that time I always heard the shaman’s voice in my head saying to me:
“Just breathe.” So I did. I took a deep breath and heard that voice again: “Let the light in, it knows where to go.” It was so beautiful and peaceful, that I fearlessly surrendered to the experience. Each song brought me to a new state and between them, the shaman’s voice in my head was asking: “Are you ready to go deeper? Let's go, let's cross.” These were the words he was saying to me just seconds before I inhaled Bufo the other day. These words were the perfect guide for me.
I lost all the fear and traveled deeper and deeper. I passed my heart and the light was settling in me, slowly flowing into the lower chakras.
I got tons of insights.
I saw my ancestors dwelling in the dark so I brought light to them.
I healed my cat who has been sick for some months.
I saw my daughter and cried about the pain I’d caused her when I was still a stressed and ignorant mother many years ago.
I saw my little puppy, the true Goddess in a tiny body, who came to protect me and love me beyond words.
I saw my mother, the beautiful woman who rejected me in the worst ways and I told her that she too can come to the Light. I’ve let go of pain and forgave the last things I still held in me.
At some point, after all my chakras were cleared I was passing the gate of hell. Dogs outside were barking loudly and at first, I got a bit disturbed by these hard sounds combined with vomiting around me. Then I realized, they are our guardians. Like Anubis, guarding the gates of the underworld.
I saw many people entering hell and I just wondered why. Why would you even want to go there if you could choose Light? Every time we get the chance to choose Light. I realized that each fight me and my ex-partner have had, was an invitation to choose Light.
Yet we rarely did.
At that same moment, many people around me were purging heavily. They were the ones entering hell over and over and never realizing it. They got stuck in that loop and for a moment
I imagined how much pain they are probably dealing with in their daily lives. What kind of characters they have, how true they are to their Soul.
Although I was ready to pay my price in my little pink bucket with a smiley next to me, Ayahuasca didn't ask anything of me. She just gently guided me through those parts I needed to see, while the Light was filling me and reaching places in my body, where I held pain.
I realized these spots were patterns we keep holding onto throughout our lives. Especially when my back was being filled with light, it was a very strong feeling, because I’ve had this pain for over twenty-two years.
For the first time, I felt the heavy load I was carrying, was being lifted. The light loosened the tight muscles and the energy started to flow through. It brought me huge relief.
I passed the gate and felt like I was levitating higher and higher till I reached a place where everything dissolved.
I dissolved into a realm of vivid colors and ethereal sounds. As I floated, echoes converged into celestial music — a symphony blending the shaman's chants, mystical jungle whispers, and harmonious instruments. My voice joined in, forming a wordless song that ascended like a heavenly choir. The space was filled with colors and sounds.
I knew I was in the Creation. I was enveloped in radiant light, frequencies dancing through my being, evoking profound joy.
Guided onward, I kneeled before the brilliance of Divine Light, encountering God, the Source of all life.
I cried with gratitude and said:
“I have nothing else to offer you but this body, God. I am giving myself to you, I surrender totally. I don't want anything anymore, just your will. I only want to do what you want me to do.” I heard the answer: “That is enough. You don’t need to offer anything.”
And God opened the temple for me and I stepped into the Light. As I was breathing deeply I was being filled with it.
I remember I was thinking I don't even need anything anymore, I don't need to eat because I have so much Light in me now.
I was humbled and grateful like never before. The feeling is indescribable.
Then I received the Seed of Life. A tiny white seed with all the possibilities encoded inside.
The whole Creation was captured and given to every one of us. We all have it in our pineal gland and I realized, this is what the dark powers are after. Because they can’t create, these creatures of evil. They need us and our Seed of Life to create whatever they want to have. Then I saw these rich demonic people sitting on their golden thrones telling us there are not enough resources for all.
I realized that as crazy as it is, we believe them while they’ve been stealing everything for centuries and hold trillions for themselves. I looked at them and said: “Whatever, you can keep sitting on your thrones, we don’t need you,” and then I walked away.
I saw the whole system falling as if it was made from thin cardboard. I saw all the people in my life, those living like programmed robots, disappearing.
Then God asked me: “Tell me what you want?”
I said that all I wanted was to surrender to the Divine and be anything I needed to be.
I saw the faces of beautiful people and then I received a blueprint of what to create.
I was overwhelmed by the grace of this Divine design and the Love I was receiving.
Then God showed me my future within this plan. I felt something so extraordinary, that
I couldn’t express it with the limited human vocabulary.
My body was receiving so much Light and Love that I wouldn’t dare to dream of as possible in this world. Yet from a young age, I always longed for something I deemed impossible to experience with another human.
Now, at this moment I was experiencing it. It literally took my breath away and I didn't need to breathe for several minutes. I felt like I died and was dissolved in Nirvana while
I could feel that my body was still receiving oxygen, just not through my respiratory system. And again, the gentle voice of the shaman in my head sounded: “Just breathe.”
I took a deep breath. I surrendered to the Love I was feeling and saw the most amazing movie ever; my potential life.
Suddenly I felt like I was going through a birth canal. Slowly and with ease I was moving forward till my head appeared in a chamber filled with bright light. I saw musicians sitting in a circle playing various instruments to welcome me and some people waiting for me. It was a celebration of my arrival. They seemed to be expecting me for a long time. The shaman sat in the middle, playing music, and smiling at me. I started to cry. It was so beautiful and I felt so welcome.
I realized that I just made a huge shift. I said goodbye to everything I left behind and all my life’s sorrows. I was now here, amid my brothers and sisters, and for the first time in my life, I fully innerstood what Christ consciousness means. For a while, I could experience how it feels.
I strongly felt that we should strive for nothing less than that.
It is the most powerful and liberating state we can reach. Nothing compares to it, everything we love is just little pieces of the feeling we truly desire.
This is pure Love.
This is where we all came from.
It’s Light, the highest frequency, settling into our whole being, providing us with immense strength.
I knew I finally arrived Home.
After that, I just felt Love and purity till the end of my journey. I felt a loving embrace of the Divine masculine and as I relaxed even deeper, he held me until the shaman came and invited me to sit, cleansing each of us with the sacred Tobacco.
Then he closed the ceremony with beautiful prayers and many thanks to the Spirits of Ayahuasca, Water, Earth, Fire, Wind, and all medicines. He expressed deep gratitude to everyone present for showing the courage to heal and change their ways.
I realized that such ceremonies have a much larger influence on the world than most people can think.
They create ripples of evolved consciousness within humanity. They bring healing to the world because they enable us to forgive and release guilt, shame, and blame in a profound way.
During my journey, the Earth told me that she created all kinds of experiences, also the bad ones, to know everything. And now she is working with us humans, to release all the darkness.
As we are purifying ourselves, she is purifying.
We all are ascending and there is no way back. Nothing can stop this. It is already done. It is up to us how long it takes to realize it in our material reality. We all have the freedom to create anything. But we must face the consequences. We must take responsibility for our creation.
This is where many fail and therefore get lost in their own hell.
We all have the choice to leave it, we don't need to get stuck there. Why would we? The reward for choosing Light is beyond anything. Yet we are so afraid of God because for so many generations all these man-made religions are programming us to fear God.
Interestingly, they never tell us to fear the darkness. We easily connect to it and accept it as a part of us without realizing what we are really desiring.
Our speech is filled with empty words and we unknowingly participate in rituals, having no clue what we are feeding. Yet making the right choice can be so easy once we know.
It takes a bit of courage and will to surrender. Then, the guidance will be offered to us.
I am forever grateful for this experience and to the man who encouraged me when
I needed it most.
I know it was God’s voice calling me Home.
~Nika
Comentários